Confidence is everything. Learn the fundamentals of what attracts women by emphasizing your strengths and improving your weaknesses!
Every woman has her own ‘thing’ that really gets her attention, turns her on, or makes her weak in the knees. If there were one single thing, every guy would do it and we’d all be turned on all the time, trying to make it through our days with wobbly legs.
Luckily for us, and unluckily for men, we’re a bit more complicated than that. However, while we may all of have our own secret ‘on switch’, there are certain characteristics that, should a man possess them, mean he’s definitely on the right track for attracting a woman.
While we like to think we’re all unique snowflakes, the truth is that most of our behavior is guided by evolution and biology. The peacock with the nicest feathers gets the girl. If you’re a goat, you’re going to have to smash your head into another guy’s to get the lady goat’s attention.
As a woman we’re wired to select the best man who will provide for us, protect us, and give us the strongest children.
While some women find shy guys charming, the truth is that most of us want a guy who knows who he is, knows what he wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it. That includes his career, a sport, his hobby, and us. In fact, most of the other things that attract women all come back to confidence.
Confidence means he really wants you. It means he’ll fight for you once he has you. It means he’ll be a good father (in theory).
#2. Dressing Well
“Wow, you look amazing in those torn socks, jogging pants, and baseball hat you’ve been wearing since high school” – said no woman, ever. Clothes make the man, but that doesn’t mean every guy has to be sporting an Armani suit to get our attention. Dressing well shows he pays attention to detail and attention to himself. Whether he’s in a finely pressed dress shirt or hipster flannel, he’s putting effort into himself, and that make him more confident.
#3. Being Physically Fit
A ripped beach body isn’t a requirement for every woman. In fact some prefer the rounder, squishy version of a guy. If you want to play the odds, however, being in shape will probably get your farther. It’s not we just love huge arms, but being fit means, from an evolution stand-point anyway, that you can take care of us and, eventually, take care of our children. Nice abs aren’t terrible on their own, either.
A man who’s ambitious understands what it takes to get what he wants. Whether it’s studying hard for his degree, working hard to get a promotion, or losing sleep to get his business up and running, an ambitious man is willing to work and sacrifice to get things done.
For you, it means he’ll do the same to support and protect his family. He won’t settle or give in to unfavorable situations. He’ll take charge and make sure you’re comfortable.
There are many kinds of intelligence, so don’t ask for his SAT score on the first date, but dumb guys are unattractive because, well, it’s hard being with someone who’s not as smart as you are. Intelligence shows you can learn and adapt to changing circumstances.
We’ve spent a lot of time talking about evolution and how to tell if he’ll be able to support you and your kids, but at the end of the day, you have to actually like spending time with the guy. A good sense of humor just makes your life easier. You’ll laugh more, which means less stress. Someone who can make joke and even laugh at themselves is someone who is confident and good with other people.
A man who is successful is a man who can get things done. Whether it’s as a doctor, the owner of a company, a musician, or an artist, success means he’s smart, dedicated, ambitious, and knows how to get what he wants. In short, everything you want from someone who can take care of his family and your children.
While there’s no scientific equation to calculate how attractive a man is to a woman, it’s important to understand that every man is a combination of the above categories – all with different strengths.
While someone who’s sort of fit, pretty smart, tells the odd joke, and is reasonably successful at his job might be seen as a ‘good catch’, so is the guy who’s overweight, never smiles, dresses terribly, but owns a company and makes over 300K a year. This guy’s ‘success’ number overrides all the other ones.
This is why you see fat rich guys with beautiful women, ugly comedians with hot wives, intelligent people who dress terribly with successful partners, and dumb, sexy men who have no problem meeting women.
Being VERY good at one thing is enough to override a lack in others. That’s why, for example, people are attracted to men who exude ambition. Even if they haven’t ‘made it’ yet, that drive and passion is incredibly sexy.
Remember, the female goat doesn’t judge the male goat by how pretty he is, and the female peacock doesn’t expect the males to smash heads together for her.
Guys, what does this all mean for you? If you’re intent on attracting women, the easiest thing to do is go for the easy wins. If you dress terribly, find a stylish friend and buy some new clothes. If you have some free-weights in your basement that are covered in two inches of dust, clean them off and start using them.
The next step is to understand what your strengths are. If you have a great sense of humor, that might be all you need (as long as you’ve got the confidence to start talking to women). If you’re ambitious, maybe all you have to do is learn to convey your enthusiasm to people you talk to.
The point is, figure out what’s already working for you and make sure you’re showing those things off to people you meet. Most importantly, be yourself, be confident, and take a chance.