True love can be tricky. It masquerades as lust, infatuation, and attraction. Learn the real meaning of true love and discover if you’re feeling it.
People have been trying to define true love for thousands of years, but that’s not going to stop us from trying to do it too!
First, let’s talk about the opposite of true love. No, it’s not hate. The opposite of true love is false love. False love might be love that’s dishonest, unrequited, or conditional. False love might be love masking as lust, used to manipulate, or justification to ignore other wrongs.
What Is Unconditional Love?
True love, on the other hand, can be summed up in one word: unconditional, PERIOD.
When you’re in true love, every part of your world somehow related to your partner. This is often spoken about like:
– “I don’t care what anyone else thinks”
– “I don’t want to live without him/her”
– “I want to spend as much time with him/her as possible”
– “I would do anything for him/her”
– “I never would have done ____ before, but if it’s with them, sure!”
– “I can just be myself around them”
When love between two people is true, there are no ‘if’s’ attached. “I’ll love him/her if—” or “I’ll love him as long as—” are examples of how you might think if you’re not in true love.
This doesn’t mean that things are always perfect. Every couple has fight and disagreements. Unconditional love doesn’t mean that you’ll live ‘happily ever after’. It DOES mean that, throughout all of the struggles in your life, your love for each other will override every obstacle and challenge you face.
Unconditional love means that, even in these tough times, your love does not lessen. Sure he got drunk and spilt red wine all over your white cat. Yes, you were pretty angry about that. But you still loved him just as much as the day you met him.
Signs of True Love
You KNOW you’re in love, but is it true love? Here are some signs that it is:
Many relationships are based on lies. Whether these were little white lies you told when you met or lies of omission about your past, if you or your partner are carrying these around, your love can’t be said to be true.
This doesn’t mean you’ll have a long and successful relationship, but there will always be a small part of it that’s closed. [Read – Why Relationships Fail – How to Make a Relationship Work]
If, on the other hand, you’re both completely open with each other, faults included, then you’re on your way to true love.
2. No power struggles
Most relationships suffer from a certain amount of struggling for power. Whether it’s for ego, control, or stubbornness, trying to be dominant in your relationship takes away from the true love you’re striving for.
If you and your partner see each other as equals (even if you have separate roles that you perform), you’re that much closer to true love.
3. Your love encourages both of you to grow
Some people describe finding their true love as “the other half of the circle”. But this idea suggests that you were incomplete before meeting them. It suggests that you were only half-people, and now you’ve become one.
A better way of looking at it is that true love doubles your joys and halves your sorrows. True love makes the highs higher and the lows not quite as bad.
Cheating comes in many forms, and we’re not going to discuss technicalities. Whether it’s a physical affair, an emotional one, issues with online chatting or pornography, or anything that you would hide from your partner, your love is not your highest priority.
When you’re truly in love, doing something that would hurt your partner hurts you just as much, and should be inconceivable to you.
5. Always a team
While you both have your own separate interests, you always approach your lives and challenges as a team. If you KNOW that your partner will provide support when you need it and act in opposition to you, that’s a sign of true love.
If your partner, on the other hand, puts you down or discourages you from trying new things, you’re not a team and there are probably conditions on your love. [Read – 35 Brilliant Ideas To Make Him Addicted To You Forever]
Love vs. Infatuation
We’ve talked about a lot of over-arching ideals for a true-love relationship. But what if what you’re feeling is just an infatuation? Emotions can be hard-hitting, and distinguishing what they mean can be confusing.
Feelings of infatuation are generally static. You meet someone, are attracted to them, and spend the next while convincing yourself that they’re perfect.
You imagine a life together filled with passion, lust, and everything else you want in a relationship.
An infatuation frequently masks imperfections in the person of your desire. Since it’s largely in your head, you go out of your way to ignore faults and warning bells.
It’s also not necessarily requited. Maybe you’re spending your time chasing someone around, trying to spend as much time with them as you can, sending them messages on Facebook, and giving them gifts, but they’re not doing much to respond. [Read – 7 Powerful Ways To Make a Guy Fall In Love With You]
Love that’s not returned may be more like an infatuation. After all, why would you love someone who doesn’t love you back?
True love on the other hand is returned. You can be honest with them and honest with yourself. Above all, a real loving relationship is one that grows and changes as you do. The more you learn about your partner, the more you change yourself, the closer you become.
Attraction vs. Love
A strong sense of attraction can fool you into thinking you’re in love. But you should consider exactly what love is and everything that a sense of attraction is missing.
When you’re attracted to someone, you’re pulled towards them, but you’re not actually “there” yet. Sure, it’s compelling, and it’s easy to think that there must be some reason for it to be happening, but it’s not love yet. [Read – 6 Telltale Signs That You Are in Love]
Similar to infatuation, there is no relationship yet. You can’t be in a relationship until you “arrive”, when you can be with the person and when they want to be with you.
Enjoying True Love
By now you should have a good sense of whether or not you’re truly in love. If you are, ENJOY IT! Food should be tastier, colours will be brighter, and you’ll go to bed and wake up happy every day when they’re beside you.
If you’re still not sure if it’s true love, don’t worry. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy spending time with your partner, and keep growing every day. Through learning about them, going on adventures, and overcoming challenges, you’ll know soon enough if your love is true.