You know something’s wrong, but not HOW wrong. Check out these signs your wife is cheating on you and see just how worried you should be.
In our last post we talked about how to tell if your husband was cheating. Many of those points apply to a wife as well, but let’s go over them quickly to get started.
Dressing up – Similarly to a man hitting the gym and buying new clothes, if your wife starts dressing much fancier and wearing more makeup, she’s obviously trying to get SOMEONE’S attention.
Hiding cell phone/deleting texts/closes laptop when you come in the room – There’s no law that says you have to share every text or Facebook message to your spouse, but habitual sneakiness is definitely a sign that she’s hiding something.
Spending time away from home – If she’s always gone out on her own, either to classes, shopping, or with friends, it’s just the way she is. If this is a recent trend, you might wonder why she all of a sudden needs so much time on her own.
More sex/less sex – There’s no typical way this goes, but when someone is cheating they either like the sex they’re getting and want even more at home, or they feel so guilty the sex drops off.
What you’re looking for is a change in behavior. Don’t automatically assume she’s cheating of course – this could be related to stress or unhappiness about something else.
There ARE a few signs that are more woman-specific, so let’s take a look at some signs that your wife is cheating on you.
Talks about a new friend a lot – Women talk about what’s important in their lives. If she has a new co-worker or new boss who comes up in conversation a lot, it’s possible they’re just friends or he’s helping her out with something.
Constantly referring to him, however, means she’s very preoccupied and it could mean something more is going on.
Changes in normal behavior – Look for the little things. Does she start cooking your favorite foods or asking if you want a beer when that doesn’t usually happen?
Does she suggest watching a movie you know she’d normally avoid? Little things like this are ways of dealing with guilt, and, combined with other changes in behavior, could be signs that your wife is cheating.
Her friends act weird around you – Most of us think we’re good at passing secret signals to each other – we’re not.
If you’re used to being around her friends and all of a sudden they’re looking away from you, looking embarrassed, giving knowing glances behind your back, or anything else that seems strange, it’s possible they know what’s going on and are trying not to let it slip.
New lingerie – If you find some new underwear you haven’t seen before, this may raise suspicion.
Most wives are happy to show off anything the feel makes them look sexy, and if she’s been wearing it without mentioning it, you may wonder if someone else has been getting the first show.
She gets angry – While most people assume anger is bad, it actually means the person is committed to the relationship – up to a point. If your wife is picking fights over nothing (and that’s not normal), it could be a sign that she’s just tired of pretending that things don’t bother her.
An affair is a great way to show someone how great life can be, and patience for annoying issues in your normal life can easily fade away.
She stops getting angry – On the flip side, if she stops getting angry or involved in anything, it’s quite possible she’s detached herself emotionally from the relationship altogether.
Checking out completely like this means it’s going to be very hard to fix this relationship (if that’s something you’d even want to do).
Generally being secretive – This is going to be largely a gut reaction from your part, but if you’ve been paying any amount of attention to your wife, you should see when she’s starting to hide things.
This can be as simple as being vague about her lunch hour, where she went for coffee with her friends, or who’s phone number called at 11:30 last night. No one of these things is conclusive, but things will start adding up until you’re right to be worried.
Thankfully most of us live our lives with our spouse without ever having to deal with cheating. People change – their behavior changes, their jobs change, their stresses and financial situations change.
Just because your wife buys a new dress or starts wearing a different type of makeup doesn’t mean she’s cheating on you.
Just because she’s more or less affectionate doesn’t mean she’s getting some on the side (although she might be).
If she starts lying, hiding online conversations, and deleting texts and phone history, then SOMETHING is up.
Whether it’s physical cheating, emotional cheating, or she’s a secret agent, you have every right to confront her and find out what’s happening.
When it DOES come time to confront her, do it properly. We’ll cover this in a later article, but suffice it to say don’t go in with guns blazing.
No matter how sure you are, there’s always a chance she’s innocent, and you don’t want your accusations to be what ruin your marriage.