It’s normal for married couples to go through rough patches, but some people reach a point when they ask themselves, “Is my marriage over?”
Marriage isn’t like a video game wherein if you make a certain number of mistakes, it’s game over.
There are no clear-cut guidelines or rules that say when a couple should finally call it quits.
For most people, it’s when they’ve tried everything to save what’s left of the marriage and fail, some just find themselves unhappy with their marriage and feel like they need a change, while for others it’s when they feel that there’s no love between them anymore.
Whatever reasons couples might have for deciding to go their separate ways, the question still remains, how do we know for sure?
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. People make mistakes and couples don’t always agree about everything, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to throw in the towel.
When Do You Know Your Marriage Is Over
Before deciding that a marriage is indeed over, a couple should take the time to evaluate the situation and see if there’s something that can be done to save it.
Here are some signs that it may be time to end it:
Abuse comes in different forms. It can be physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, and in worse cases, a combination of two or more of these types. While women are usually at the receiving end of the abuse, men can be victims, too.
The longer a person stays in an abusive relationship, the harder it is to leave, so it’s best to get out of the marriage as soon as possible. [Read – 8 Signs You Are In an Abusive Relationship]
Sometimes, the marriage is so far away from being salvageable that the words and insults slung at each other constitute a mutually abusive relationship. When a relationship hits this point, it’s never going to get better.
Repetitive Cheating By One or Both Parties
People make mistakes and there are a lot of marriages that work out even after one or both parties become unfaithful. The decision to call it quits really depends on how much the person being cheated on can take.
Some decide that once is enough, while others believe in a second chance; however, if one party continues to cheat, or if both parties are cheating on each other, then it’s time to consider going their separate ways.
Every Conversation Turns Into an Argument
Communication is important in a successful marriage, and when a couple can’t communicate without raising their voices or throwing anything they can hold of at each other, then there’s really something terribly wrong with the marriage.
This is where the couple’s counseling comes in, but if that still doesn’t work, then maybe it’s time to just stop arguing and head out the door.
One or Both Parties Refuse to Work Things Out
A lot of marriages can still be saved if couples decide that they want to work things out and fix whatever problems they have. Unfortunately, we can’t force a person to cooperate if they really don’t want to.
If one or both have decided that they want out, no amount of marriage counseling or couples therapy can help them fix the broken marriage. At this point, it’s usually better to just let go rather than stay with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
When Love, Respect and Trust are Lost
A marriage is built on these three principles. When one goes out of the window, the rest are sure to follow.
This is because they are all intertwined in some way. There are cases when a marriage is still salvageable, if the couple seeks help or does something to repair the damage early, but when it’s gone, it’s gone and staying together isn’t such a good idea anymore.
When Sex With Your Spouse Does Not Interest You Anymore
When a marriage is in trouble, sex is usually the first thing to go. It’s hard to get in the mood if you are no longer physically attracted to your spouse anymore. [Read – No Sex In Marriage – Can a Sexless Relationship Work]
Some couples going through this phase begin sleeping in separate bedrooms or stay in the same room for appearances sake, but sleep in separate beds or so far away from each other, they don’t even touch.
A lot of couples try to change it up in order to rekindle the spark that was lost, but when one or both parties feel that trying to spice up their sex life is a waste of time, it may be a sign that it’s too late.
The Kids are The Only Reason to Stay
Having children makes separation or divorce difficult. Aside from one’s personal happiness, there are also other people to consider.
Children in particular have a hard time coping when their parents separate or get a divorce, but if things get really bad in the home, they can also suffer if their parents argue all the time or if they feel that their parents don’t love each other anymore. [Read – 10 Negative Effects of Divorce on Children]
If children are the only thing that’s keeping a married couple together, they should consider whether or not separating is best for everyone in the family.
When Counseling and Therapy Doesn’t Work
Not all couples who seek help in repairing a broken marriage actually get the results they want. There are just some problems that can’t be solved and wounds that take too long to heal.
Sometimes married couples drift so far apart that they don’t recognize each other anymore. When the differences couples have are irreconcilable, then maybe it’s time to say goodbye.
Statistics show that about half of marriages ultimately end in divorce, but despite this disturbing fact, more and more people get married every day.
People get married thinking that the romance and sparks will last forever and then they realize that marriage is not all they expected it to be.
A successful marriage takes a lot of hard work, and if one or both parties aren’t willing to do their part, the marriage will fail faster than the time it took the couple to get married. Before they know it, they are blindsided by the fact that the fairytale life they’ve always dreamed of is over.
The nightmare of a marriage that has just ended can be prevented if both parties do their share of the work and learn how to communicate better.
If problems arise, and they definitely will, at least once, in the marriage, it also takes two to work things out and save a marriage in trouble. [Read – Top 15 Tips On How to Save Your Marriage]
Calling it quits is a very serious decision to make and it’s one that only those involved in the marriage can make. It’s important to make sure that nothing can be done anymore before deciding to leave everything behind and start a new life alone.