Learn how to tell if your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you. Don’t stay in the dark, find the signs and get rid of them, ASAP!
If we’re to be honest, long distance relationships are NOT for everyone.
Many people do not have it in them to remain faithful and there’s too much cheating going on.
If you’re wondering how to tell if your long distance partner is cheating on you, we are here to help.
We’ve gathered a set of foolproof signs to help you (both men & women) confirm whether they’re cheating or not. We’re really hoping, it’s just your mind playing tricks on you!
Before making any decisions you should read our previous post where we discussed about 12 Signs Your Long Distance Relationship Is Working.
Signs of Long Distance Cheating Boyfriend
OK, so you’ve started having thoughts about him having an affair, which is quite reasonable with the distance and all. What do you do?
Call him at 3am crying, yelling, accusing him of ruining your life, all the while being at the verge of having a heart attack? NO!
Call him the next day and pick up a huge fight out of nowhere? Again, NO!
Book a flight to get him caught with her? Seriously? NO!
In short, you abstain from doing things that are undignified and well, not classy. You’re a girl of breeding and class. You’ll handle it differently. So put aside your boxing gloves. Maybe another day. First, you need to be sure he’s cheating.
You started noticing certain emotional changes; he seems disinterested in talking with you, forgets to call you back, or answer your texts. He’s more aloof, than present in your discussions.
You also notice how instead of trying to remedy this distance, he’s creating even more. He’s actually isn’t bother by it and doesn’t feel detached (or so he claims).
Secretive and Irritable
When people engage in illicit behavior they act strange, they constantly fear others will find out.
Men are no EXCEPTION, if he’s too secretive, strategically avoiding talking about his day, or sidestepping your efforts to catch him lying, these are worrying signs.
Support, What Support?
You’re communicating less and less, and the worst is that whenever you need him, he always seems to vanish somehow.
You notice how inconsistent he is, making promises he won’t keep, his schedule is now surprisingly full with his buddies and work, having absolutely no time to spare.
The Return of the “I” clause
Somewhere along the way you notice how much more self-absorbed he’s become. He’s no longer the one, sharing his plans about you two, he’s now focused on himself.
(This might be only natural and just a coincidence, mind you. Since you’re apart, it’s sensible that he now thinks of himself as a unit separated from you.)
Nonetheless, if he starts making future plans that only include himself, or worse he starts to take back promises and plans, like cancelling visits, making them more rare, these are signs that you should not ignore.
Abrupt Lifestyle Changes
You’ve dedicated a whole three years to convince him to stop drinking and start going to the gym. No use. All of a sudden, he tells you how super-excited he is about his life makeover:
- wardrobe update,
- house redecorating,
- gym, and Muay Thai and KickBoxing.
So what’s his deal you ask? He’s most definitely trying to impress her, or just had an epiphany. You decide what is more plausible.
These are the most prevalent telltale signs of a long distance cheating boyfriend, not every man will go through it all. (Read last para to know the next step)
Others for instance might become to kind and affectionate to recompensate for their wrong-doing, others will have sudden emotional shifts, like being too happy or depressed.
Signs of a Long Distance Cheating Girlfriend
What about women, do they have a similar pattern of behavioral changes? Let’s find out.
Loss of Intimacy
Women when it comes to love they’re monogamous, if they’re with another man, they cannot possibly be affectionate with both. The odds are with him, she is more likely to be cold, distant and disinterested in you.
She won’t be the warm, affectionate woman you knew; she will make up excuses for her lack of caring (stress, period, a fight with a colleague).
Along with intimacy, she will no longer be supportive. Even if she was admiring you, now she will no longer idolize you, you’d be just another guy. Nothing special.
She restrains from talking about your sex life, and when you get to finally be together, she doesn’t want to have sex, or you sense how she’s doing it out of duty, rather than passion.
If she’s cheating on you, she will most likely find sex with you disagreeable and unimaginable. She FEARS her sexual behavior will be different, and you will be able to tell. So she prefers to withdraw from it entirely.
Doesn’t Try to Change You (anymore)
No matter how much a woman adores you, there will always be something about you they’d like to change.
If she’s lost that insatiable passion of changing you into her own Prince Charming, perhaps she has already found a ready-made one!
Defensive and Anxious
She is too stressed, even without any apparent reason, she is ready to jump to the worst conclusion and becomes defensive when you try to show interest in her life and whereabouts.
If she’s cheating she will be too anxious about you finding out, that’s all she has in her mind when you’re talking. That’s why she will be aggressive and awkward each time the conversation is about her.
No Time For You
She’s no longer keen to talk with you as she used to be. Rather she makes excuses (more office chores, hanging out with girls, tired) for the lack of time you spend talking.
She might even try to convince you that you are actually the one who’s been withdrawing from the relationship. (Yes we’re that cheeky!)
So What Do I Do Now?
If there are plausible signs that all point to a cheating partner, then, and only then, should you do something about it. You need to verify them first hand.
➨ Verification Process
The most honest, direct way of finding out, is actually asking them. Of course they will deny it. You just need to be persistent. If they ever cared for you, they will have the courtesy (and balls) to own up.
Always remember that it’s their MISTAKE and even though you might have played a role in them cheating, this doesn’t mean it was all your fault. In a relationship, there can’t be just one to blame.
So don’t even try to play the self-blame game. You don’t deserve it, because you weren’t the one ruining your relationship. They were.
➨ Move on. Be happy.
Once they admit to it, it’s your turn to decide. They might even want to get back together, but it’s up to you whether you’ll take them back or not.
If you decide they Do NOT deserve you (Well played!), don’t make the mistake of becoming that sad, self-pitying cheated-on boyfriend/girlfriend.
See this as an opportunity, a life change you ought to take advantage of.
Whether you’re the one who had to move out or not, the possibilities and opportunities are still the same. Grab them and start over.