What is self esteem is often confounded with self-confidence. Here, self-esteem is defined so that you can tell whether you need to work on yours or not.
Truth be told, no one really knows what self-esteem is. Everyone seems to have an idea, but once self-confidence comes into play things start getting misty.
Self esteem is the personal opinion you hold for yourself.
How much respect/disrespect, love/hate, and admiration/contempt you feel towards you. It’s the all-inclusive EMOTIONAL assessment of who you believe to be.
Self esteem is almost identical with self-worth; both are used to define how valuable you regard yourself to be in terms of conduct, accomplishments, failures, attributes and skills.
It’s nothing but what you believe yourself to be, your own appraisal of you.
This belief on your worth stems mainly from experiences and skills you possess. It might be reality-grounding but not necessarily reality-mirroring. That is, you might have a distorted belief of what you truly are worthy of.
So you will either have a very low self esteem or an overly bloated one, so bloated that you come across as self-important and narcissistic.
Here are some characteristics that will help you understand what self esteem touches on. Individuals with a healthy self-esteem:
✹ Often, their actions are informed by reassurance, faith and accountability. A person with a healthy self-esteem has the pride to stand up behind their actions and words, failed or not.
✹ They’re overall positive and strong, not because they’ve got some inherent power others don’t but because they truly respect themselves; with its flaws and all.
✹ Self esteem gives self confidence. Respecting, and positively appraising your feelings and actions naturally gives you self-confidence.
So, you might have self-confidence in a SPECIFIC ability or skill of yours; say you’re self confident about your looks. Or it might be a more abstract sense of self-confidence, which is rather like being self-confident of everything you are.
When you respect and value yourself (that is you have self-esteem) it makes you admirable, strong and self confident.
So you see how self confidence and self esteem are COMPLEMENTORY, reinforcing one another. Of course, there are occasions when the two are exact opposites; it’s not a rule that a self-confident person has also a high self-esteem.
✹ Sense of equality. The pride they have in themselves makes them feel equal to all the rest (perhaps to people who are maddeningly far superior).
In a sense, their self esteem doesn’t let them to clearly evaluate their own value against all others;rather they’re most likely to believe they’re as good as everybody else.
Even though this might make a person look conceited and selfish, it is an overall desired attribute. When we feel we are as good as the rest, it’s easier for us to take up challenges and not get intimidated by hardships.
✹ Unlike people with low self-esteem, an individual who takes pride in who they are and doesn’t let life’s ugly face overwhelm them. This trust and respect for themselves enables them to see hardships as lessons, or imperative experiences for gaining wisdom.
Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Confidence
Whilst self-esteem concerns your beliefs that are rather invariable, self confidence is a rather vaguer, fickle trust in specific skills, performances and abilities one has.
In other words, self confidence is how much ASSURANCE or TRUST or trust you have in a specific ability of yours. It’s the amount of faith and reassurance you feel pertaining to a talent, or aspect of the self.
To be exact, you might be self confident of you cooking skills, but have a poor self confidence when it comes to your driving skills.
Self-confidence is mostly task or skill-specific.
Let’s take an example: you’re a fourth-grade teacher, half your students are naughty, spoilt and just all over the place but for some reason you believe in your abilities to control them and actually teach them things. Self-confidence in this case suggests:
- You have self-belief or faith in how easily you manage an otherwise chaotic classroom.
- It implies the lack of doubt or the certainty that you’re the best you could ever be when it comes to your class management skills.
- You trust and actually expect from yourself to be efficient when handling your class. (And this ascribes you the potency and skill to actually do so.)
➳ What this means is that you might have a generally low self esteem (don’t feel like you’re the best teacher at your school), but still have EXCEPTIONAL self confidence when it comes to your ability to manage an otherwise chaotic class of misfits.
Self-confidence is a close-up on your skills and abilities; it Does NOT focus on the difficulty of the task, but your capacity to complete it.
Difference Between Self Esteem and Arrogance
Self esteem is about believing in your competence and integrity as a human being and being respectful of who you are. It’s the pride you have of your feelings, accomplishments and traits.
Self esteem is the continuous personal assessment of ourselves. However, there are cases when self-esteem gets entirely out of control, growing and swelling into narcissistic, arrogant self-love and contempt over others’ competencies.
While self esteem normally only concerns your appraisal of yourself, when you start intervening and evaluating others’ character and actions too, this often looks as arrogance.
Self esteem should be something PERSONAL (although people with self-respect are visibly confident), when it negatively affects those around you because you treat them like they’re inferior to you, that’s arrogance.
Arrogance is when you cannot really keep your views to yourself, when you’re irritatingly boasting and bragging about your achievements, your future plans, your ambitions your successes.
It’s a busted egoism, from which everyone has to suffer from, your endless bragging and your incurable self-importance.
For those with strong self esteem, it is rather easy to cross the line between self respect and arrogance.
Arrogant people are usually blinded by the excess admiration they hold for themselves. You see them turn into narcissistic individuals who have no sense of reality whatsoever.
They start believing in abilities they don’t have, in skills they never mastered, in accomplishment they never realized with true poise.
There are two types of people that become self-centered; those with no trace of self esteem and those with redundant amounts of it.
You see, someone who’s insecure (i.e. lacks self-confidence and doesn’t have respect for themselves) can become arrogant in order to make up for this lack of security or self-confidence.
On the other hand, overconfident people, if they don’t control their mind and how it illustrates them, things can easily turn into a messy, egotistical chaos.
Self esteem is something perceivable through actions and conduct, arrogance is limited to verbal bragging as a strategy for keeping insecurities and imperfections hidden. Arrogance exists to cover up the lack of self esteem.
Self esteem is a valuable and desired characteristic, and it would be a shame to see it turn into one of the most despicable traits a person could have.
Everybody has the right to self-respect, just as long your own self esteem doesn’t feed on feeling contempt of all others.