Dealing with a marriage at the brink of dissolution is the toughest battle to fight, but it is always worth the struggle. Read these 15 tips that can help you save your marriage.
It is possible that when you were married to your man, never have you thought that you will ever need to struggle on how to save your marriage.
It was, and remains until now, the happiest day of your life.
You remember the smiles you flashed in every camera, the laughter you heard all around and the vows you solemnly pledged during that day.
Unfortunately, things went on UNEXPECTED turns.
No matter how many times you have thought that your marriage is probably not going anywhere, you know that at least a tinge of hope lives in your heart, praying and hoping that it can still be saved.
And you are right.
The battle to save your marriage is the noblest FIGHT you can ever be involved with.
To help you with your difficult struggle, here are 15 important tips to enlighten you about what else could and should be done.
Tip No. 1: Stay Calm. Do Not Panic
When your marriage is in shaky ground, the last thing you must do is panic. When you place yourself in a restless state of anxiety, the less clearly you can think.
It disarms you from all the possibility of entertaining a better way to take and handle your current predicaments.
Just like with other important issues, the best decisions are made once you have rendered yourself a good amount of rest and reflection.
Tip No. 2: Do Not Do Anything That Will Definitely Aggravate The Situation
One common mistake that couples do in the middle of an already-bad situation is to take actions that will make it worse, such as intend harm or injury to each other.
REMEMBER that you are still married to your husband and no matter how much pain you are seriously trying to endure because of him, it will not help to promote adversarial roles with him.
Tip No. 3: Be Conscious About Your Diversion And Other Escape Mechanisms
In the middle of any crisis in your life, you will probably try to evade it by keeping yourself preoccupied with other activities such as working, overspending and partying — whether or not you are aware of it, whether or not you admit to it.
Upon realizing that you are advocating this kind of defense mechanisms, pick yourself up immediately and re-focus your time and energy in addressing the important issues of your marriage.
Tip No. 4: Know When It Is A Good Time To Talk
Being the woman, it is most likely that you are the one who is more into verbal expressions. The power of communication can never be underestimated.
But one thing you need to carefully consider is the availability of your husband to listen. We wish to talk because we have something we need to get through to him.
Hence, it is very important that he is emotionally and mentally ready to establish good connection with you. You can do this by simply asking him if it is a good time to talk now or if it should wait until later.
Tip No. 5: Modify How You Communicate Your Emotions
As earlier mentioned, women are more verbally expressive when conveying their emotions. But always be aware with the manner by which you communicate.
You and your husband are both mature people.
Thus, it is only right that you act perfectly as one. Drop the name-calling, endless blaming sessions and intentional shaming. This will do nothing but further make your marriage toxic.
Tip No. 6: Describe Your Main Concerns In Three Sentences Or Less
Once you have decided to talk maturely about your concern and your husband has confirmed his proper reception, be specific and plain with your speech.
Ideally, keep it under three sentences. This will consciously prevent you from adding extra issues that can overwhelm your husband, disabling him from attending to them appropriately.
Tip No. 7: Listen to Your Husband
Communication is never a monologue. Yes, you will have your turn to talk, but you also ought to listen.
What are his concerns?
What are his takes about your issues?
It is very possible that there was just a thin line of MISUNDERSTANDING which would make all the difference if only properly addressed.
Tip No. 8: Learn What Your Husband Needs
After knowing his side, it is time to offer compromise. What did he mention were his needs? Is there something you can do about it? If you figured out some were left unspoken but were read between the lines, recognize it.
No matter how small or trivial it may be, act on it.
Tip No. 9: Examine and Understand Yourself More
Aside from knowing what you can give to him and to your marriage, it is also important to know what you can give to yourself. If you want to make your marriage healthy, you need to be healthy too.
Re-examine the internal struggles your emotions and thoughts are trying to handle. Nurture your hope, dreams and spirit. Enhance the strength you have within.
Tip No. 10: Reminisce the Best Version of Yourself
Remember the woman your husband has fallen in love with.
How far are you now from that version of you?
What made you so irresistible for him back then?
It is about time to be the loving and caring wife he has known you to be. It has won his heart before. It is always possible to happen again. [Read – How to Look HOT and Sexier]
Tip No. 11: Destroy the Emotional Wall You Have Created
Is this difficult time too painful for you that you have decided to establish a wall between you and your husband?
Have you decided to emotionally shut down from all the suffering brought about by your marriage? If so, time to break off from this wall and set yourself free from this incarceration.
Once you have knocked this wall down, you can then be sure that there is no block that hinders you from reconnecting with him.
Tip No. 12: Identify What is Potentially Contaminating Your Marriage
If you have both raised your concerns and still the marriage remains shaky, try to dig deeper and identify other factors that is contributing to this.
These may include experiences from past relationships, people surrounding your marriage and unnecessary dictations from others. [Read – Why Relationships Fail – How to Make a Relationship Work]
Understand how much these dynamics are bringing into your relationship with your husband.
Tip No. 13: Do Not Ignore the Small Acts
The greatest acts of love come from the smallest gestures. Having the sincere intention to save your marriage is proof enough that you still hold a dear love for your husband.
Invest in expressing this love to him through the simplest ways which make him happy. This can include ironing his favorite T-shirt, getting dinner ready for him or helping him out prepare for work. [Read – How to Keep Your Man Happy – Anyone Can Do This]
Tip No. 14: Find Specific Reasons to Deliver Praises and Appreciations
When there was just too much resentment towards each other, we often blind ourselves to our spouse’s positive sides, no matter how little these may be.
Just like with expression of love, the smallest details should never be ignored. Open your eyes to what you can appreciate about your husband and let it be known to him.
You know that there is so much about him that you have learned to love. Explore on this and rediscover the great soul you found in him before. [Watch Video – How to Make Your Relationship Better]
Tip No. 15: Solidify Your Will and Commitment to Save Your Marriage
Marrying your husband is a commitment you once pledged never to break away from. Now is the most important time for you to reminisce all the reasons why you have chosen to involve yourself in this commitment.
Regardless how much effort your husband is giving into your attempts to save your marriage, hold strongly onto your will, just be patient and it will all be worth it in the end.
No matter how many women on earth have gone through what you are going through now, none of them can truly speak about how painful and difficult it is for you.
It is a completely honorable task to exhaust everything you have just so you can save your marriage.
But in the end, remember that regardless how things turn out to be, you will definitely be amazed to realize how much this fight has transformed you into a more responsible, more respectable and more admirable woman.