Suffering from a recent breakup or thinking about breaking up? Get informed about the top 7 regrets people tend to have after a breakup.
Relationship breakups can create a rollercoaster ride of feelings for sure. One day you can be extremely sad and the next you can be relatively happy and hopeful for your new path in life.
One day you will be drowning your sorrows in two bowls of ice cream and the next you’ll be out bowling with your friends excited about life and your potential.
Breakups can be quite difficult, as an attachment and connection is normally formed between couples.
The longer the relationship, the harder it can be to deal with everything that comes along with a breakup and to really let go once the final breakup decision has been made can bring about a myriad of feelings.
You’re going to have to contend with feelings you wish would never surface and try to answer some pretty tough questions.
Have you ever went through a breakup and then found yourself facing all sorts of regrets? Are you thinking about breaking up with your partner and wonder how you’ll be dealing with regrets after break up when it comes to feelings, fears, etc.?
Regret is a pretty big issue after many relationship breakups and that’s understandable. After all, we don’t like to have to cut ties with those we once adored and we certainly don’t like to carry around the fact that our relationship has failed.
Here are 7 common regrets or guilt that people have after going through a breakup:
1. “I regret not being the kind of partner I could have been.”
This is a very common regret for both parties. Breakups can cause feelings of failure and frustration and oftentimes those feelings cause regret.
People think “I could have done this better. I should have done that and that… I got so wrapped up in my own little world. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I screwed it up!”
It’s normal to have such feelings because the truth is that each partner may have indeed been able to be a better partner, but don’t be so hard on yourself because no one is perfect and oftentimes relationships are opportunities for growth.
Plus, no one is perfect and there is always room for improvement, so resolve to do better the next time around. [Read – How to Keep Your Man Happy – Anyone Can Do This]
2. “I regret giving him/her so much of my life/money/time.”
Relationships are investments and sometimes a partner will have regrets if he or she has invested a lot in gifts, time, money, etc.
Feelings of anger or bitterness may rise when one thinks of how much he or she could have saved instead of spoiling the partner rotten. Although this may noteworthy, to withhold such things in a relationship for fear of a breakup won’t do anyone any good either.
Give to give, not to get.
3. “I shouldn’t have been so needy/egotistical/nagging/lackadaisical, etc.”
Partners may regret their past behaviors. If you’ve been overly needy and clingy, you’re kicking yourself for not being able to stand more secure in the relationship.
If you spent more time working on your car than with your girl, you’re kicking yourself for your uber crush on your car. If you had the tendency to yell at your man when he didn’t do what you thought he should, you’re disappointed that you let your emotions get the best of you.
Regretting past behaviors is very common. [Read – What Men Want – Are Men Really Only After One Thing?]
4. “I regret taking my partner to all of the places that I love to go.”
If you frequented clubs, vacation spots, or restaurants that you love, now you have to worry about whether you partner will be there when you go.
It would be painful for either of you to see the other with a date or even with friends. If you fear this, you could always have a conversation with your ex and ask him the chances of him showing up at certain locations and then decide if you will continue to frequent the places or not.
5. “I regret passing up on some incredible offers while in the relationship.”
Chances are during the relationship someone approached you wondering if you were single or simply wanted to date you and you politely declined because you were tied up in a relationship.
You might regret passing up such opportunities now that you’re single and you think that the opportunity has passed and the person has most likely found another companion by now.
6. “I regret telling them so much about myself and my dreams.”
It’s common to become vulnerable and open in a relationship, but after a breakup it’s quite common to feel regret about sharing so many intimate things with your partner.
Now he knows your deepest secrets, fears, and so on and you feel a bit embarrassed or afraid that he will tell others. You feel like you’ve shared from your very core and the fragile contents of your being are just out there for anyone to know.
Being vulnerable in a relationship is common and most of the time your secrets and so on are safe with the other person.
7. “I regret falling so madly in love.”
If you really let yourself fall madly in love with your partner, you might regret doing so because it hurts so much to completely cut ties.
You long for things to be alright once again and you secretly hope that someday you could maybe work things out (and you might because many others have). You regret giving your whole self to him or her because now you feel like a massive black hole resides at the center of your being and you feel so alone and empty.
These 7 regrets that people feel after a break up are fairly common and quite normal. Sometimes regrets can cause partners to want to try to work things out, which is possible when both partners are willing to do the work required to grow their relationship.
Ex’s get back together all the time, so it is possible when two hearts are willing to resolve and work through issues. If there is still love in both hearts for each other, getting back together and flourishing is quite possible.