Break-ups are generally difficult for both men and women to handle, but why is it that men seem to take separation harder than women do?
Breakups can be devastating, especially if one or both parties have invested so much love and devotion into the relationship.
It doesn’t really matter if the break-up was amicable or if vicious words and small items were hurled at each other, break-ups are never easy.
Men and women deal with break-ups differently. After a break-up, you would normally see guys go out and party with their friends more often or focus more on their work to keep their mind off the pain, while women tend to share their pain and turn to their friends for comfort and re-assurance.
When you look at it from the outside, it seems like women suffer more than men do, but the reality is that these typical behaviors make women the stronger ones when going through a break up.
It may be hard to believe, considering how we’ve been conditioned to think that women are more fragile when it comes to matters of the heart and that men should be able to move on faster.
In fact, a guy who embraces the pain of losing someone he loves and allows himself to grieve is considered weak by his peers, but a recent study by The Journal of Health and Social Behavior shows that how men and women seem to deal with break-ups on the outside does not reflect what they really feel inside.
How Men and Women Cope with Break-ups
The idea that men suffer more emotional damage as a result of a break-up actually makes sense when you consider how differently men and women deal with their emotions.
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Society has been dictating how men and women should act and react to certain situations, and this has unfortunately impaired a man’s ability to connect with his emotions.
As little boys, men are taught they shouldn’t cry when they’re hurt and that they shouldn’t be scared. This causes them to bottle all their emotions up and prevents them from sharing their feelings or asking for help in fear that they will be considered by society as weak.
Men are also taught to be responsible for their own actions, and they tend to blame themselves and beat themselves up when something goes wrong with anything, especially relationships.
When faced with emotional pain, a man’s defense mechanism kicks in and this prevents them from expressing their pain and anguish.
Some of them come out of it just fine, but some men tend to turn to alcohol, meaningless and casual sex, and sometimes even drugs just to mask the pain they feel.
Women, on the other hand, tend to publicize their relationships, and when the relationship ends, they make sure that the whole world knows of their pain.
They have no problems shedding tears in public or in private, and asking their peers for help and support.
It may make them look overly emotional, but this is a coping mechanism that allows women to release all their pent up anger and sadness over bad situations like breaking up with someone, and being able to release all this makes it easier for them to move on.
The sleepless nights, the non-stop crying, the constant whining and complaining to friends and family members, and the over-consumption of what we call “break-up food” may seem ridiculous to some people, but these are all part of a woman’s way of working through the pain.
Some women act out after a break-up as a part of the healing process, but the rebellious behavior usually comes to an end when they’ve finally moved on.
People get into relationships hoping that it will last, and when that hope is shattered by a break-up, moving on can be extremely difficult. [Read – 30 Cool Things To Do After a Breakup to Heal Your Heart]
In the debate about who suffers more after a break-up, men are the clear “winners”, so to speak.
Men suffer more not because they don’t know how to cope, but because of how they are conditioned to react to situations like these. If they want to change that, then they should change the way they deal with their emotions.
It may sound cliche, but they should take a page from a woman’s post-breakup playbook. Getting in touch with your feminine side is not a bad idea. If it helps you move on and cope with heartbreak without resorting to heavy drinking and reckless behavior, then by all means, do it.
People shouldn’t be judged by how much emotion they show, but by how they handle difficult and painful situations.