There will always be times in your life when you desire to have either sexual action in your relationship. We all have differing sex drives, and this guide will help you to understand how to how to increase your libido if it is low.
I shall divide this into two sections, for men and for women, as we do differ slightly in our needs.
How to Increase Libido (Sexual Desire) In Women
There are many women across the world who suffer from a condition known as ‘female sexual arousal disorder,’ (FSAD) in fact the American Medical Association has estimated that there could be as many as forty three per cent of the female population suffering from this.
Many women who suffer from this condition actually have no problems with having orgasms, it seems though that getting them in the mood where they desire an orgasm is another matter entirely.
If you feel that you may be suffering from this, firstly I would suggest that you pay a visit to your doctor to rule out any physical or psychological cause, as there a few things that can cause loss of sexual desire.
Causes of Low Libido in Women:
1. Anaemia: This can sometimes be down to loss of blood from heavy periods, and can be sorted out with an iron-rich diet, or supplements if necessary.
2. Alcohol or drug abuse: See your doctor immediately!
3. Diabetes and other major conditions: The condition itself, or the medication used can cause a problem; never stop taking your medication, and always seek the advice of a doctor.
4. Post childbirth: Many women feel a ‘cooling down’ after going through the trauma of childbirth, and maybe this is nature’s way of trying to stop us from becoming pregnant again too quickly; heed nature in this instance, and give your body a good chance to recover.
6. Stress; [Read – How To Deal With Stress Naturally]
All of the above can be contributing factors to loss of sexual desire; but if all of these have been ruled out by your GP, then here are some ideas as to what you can do to improve things in the bedroom.
www.netdoctor.co.uk suggests the following regarding the possible use of Testosterone in women to increase sexual desire: Possible side-effects include hairiness, spots, a deep voice and enlargement of the clitoris.
However, there is some clinical evidence to support the use of testosterone as a treatment for low sexual desire. In 2007 a testosterone skin patch called Intrinsa became available in the UK, and a modest number of women have used it over the last five years.
This patch is only licensed on the NHS for women who have had an early surgically-induced menopause, and who are already receiving oestrogen therapy. Obviously, this is quite a small number of people.
We do know that Intrinsa is being prescribed privately for other women with low libido, or hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) as it is now sometimes termed. Also, a number of women are buying Intrinsa via the internet, without seeing a doctor. We do not recommend this.
So far, expert reactions to the drug are mixed. In America the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) and in Britain the ‘Drugs and Therapeutics Bulletin’ have both been dismissive of the product.
However, the manufacturers claim that in a clinical trial, women using Intrinsa had an extra 1.9 satisfactory sexual experience per month – as opposed to 0.5 experiences for those on a placebo patch.
Solutions for Women:
Men, you can help with this next section; work out what your women likes, and in turn, you may help her to rediscover her sex drive.
Below are some suggestions as to what women might find enhancing to the mood, and therefore to the sex drive; the bottom line is, go buy her a bucket load of chocolate, (or whatever works for her,) and you could well help her to find her lost ‘mojo!’
1. Chocolate: Chocolate contains Phenethylamine; this not only enhances your mood, but is also the chemical our brains produce when we fall in love.
2. Exercise: It’s surprising what a beneficial effect that exercise can have on the whole of our bodies; not only does it increase the blood flow to the sex organs, but also produces those ‘feel-good’ hormones, Endorphins.
3. Cucumber! According to the Chicago Center for Research on Taste and Smell, the smell of cucumber is one of the best aromas to induce sexual arousal in women; we always said that salad was good for you!
4. Arginine: This is another amino acid that our body needs to help boost the level of blood sent to the genitals, and can be found in Brazil nuts and almonds.
5. A moderate amount of alcohol: Pleasure hormones are released by the body after drinking a modest amount of alcohol; these can not only release tension and inhibitions, but also Testosterone, increasing the chance of flirtatious banter.
6. Cuddling and touching: Never underestimate the power of a cuddle; if a woman feels that she ‘has to perform,’ she might not want to.
If she feels it’s just a ‘cuddle,’ then she might well want to take it further, as cuddles and skin-to-skin contact have been proved to increase Oxytocin levels, which will not only make you feel closer to him, but will also mean that you will be more relaxed about the idea of sex. [Read – How To Please Your Man In Bed]
7. Talk, talk, and then talk some more! Always talk to your partner; never assume that they just ‘know’ what’s going on in your mind; men can be funny creatures, and can think that they have done something wrong, if you don’t communicate.
Tell him you still love him, and are glad that you are together; ask for his help and understanding, and try to reassure him that in general, lack of libido in women is a transitory thing.
How To Increase Libido In Men
There can be many of the same contributing factors to a man’s loss of sex drive, so please see above section.
Netdoctor.co.uk says the following:
Lack of sex drive (lack of libido) is common in women, but quite rare in men. Even men with who have difficulty maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction) usually have a normal sex drive.
However, some men do find that their interest in sex diminishes as they get older. And a very few have never experienced any sexual desire in their lives.
In 2009, it was commonplace to see adverts suggesting that low libido can be cured with nasal sprays. Such claims should be treated with caution.
There are a lot of similarities with women as to how to increase your libido, so again please refer to the section above, with reference to a healthy diet, exercise, and modest amounts of alcohol especially; but the following ideas are more specific to the male of the species!
1. Viagra: Under no circumstances, be tempted to buy this product on-line, even if it appears to be from a reputable pharmacy, it has been discovered in the UK that several of these on-line pharmacies are peddling muck, quite literally.
Tests have shown that products on-line rarely contain the ingredients that they should, and some have been shown to be positively detrimental to your health. Always follow the advice of your doctor as to whether Viagra may be suitable for your particular problem.
2. Porn: If you haven’t been ‘in the mood’ lately, whether down to pressures of work, or just life in general, try watching some porn again. It’s not often that you get permission to do that is it? The watching of porn will quite often cause a spontaneous erection; so use it while you have it! [Read – 99.9% of Men Watch Porn – Is It Really Bad to Watch It?]
3. Set the scene: Sometimes things that surround us in the bedroom can unconsciously cause us to feel not in the mood.
Make your bedroom a room a place for having sex in, (as well as sleeping!), by removing pictures of your children/parents; get rid of paperwork and the TV, (unless its attached to a DVD whereby you can watch porn together). [Read – How To Be More Romantic and Get More Action In Bed]
4. ‘Date’ your partner: Try and forget the fact of how long you have actually been together; instead arrange a date.
Try to recapture that initial spark of excitement (remember how you couldn’t keep your hands off each other at the start?) even go as far as pretending that you have never met, and ‘pick her up’ in a bar or hotel; book a room for the afternoon, and pretend that you are two strangers having a wild afternoon of sex and lust.
5. Think of a ‘quickie:’ Sex does not always have to be a marathon; instead take the performance pressure off, and aim to make each other cum before the kids wake up in the morning.
This does not have to involve intercourse; just a mutual masturbation session can get the juices flowing in more ways than one!
Above all else, communicate; never blame your partner, always take responsibility for your own actions, and always remember say the magic words; ‘I love you’ can go a long way, especially if the other thinks that maybe you don’t fancy them anymore.