Learning how to get a man to commit isn’t easy, but believe it or not, it’s doable. There are just a few rules you need to follow in order to succeed.
The stereotype that men are afraid of commitment simply isn’t true.
Sure, men have certain issues about staying with just one person for the rest of his life, but these issues usually have a rational explanation behind them.
This does not mean that women should just leave men be and let them use their fear of commitments as an excuse to stay uncommitted to anything that has to do with relationships.
Women should try to understand why their man is afraid or unwilling to commit. Once you get to the bottom of things, it would be easier to find a solution to this age old issue.
Dealing With a Man’s Commitment Issues
A man’s fear of commitment has been the subject of one too many movies, television shows, and novels that it has become a fact that women feel they should just accept. A lot of relationships become stagnant because women allow their men to avoid committing to anything.
There are also times when a seemingly perfect relationship is ruined because the woman simply can’t wait for his man anymore.
This culture of accepting a man’s fear of commitment is a sad truth that we all face today, when in reality, men can overcome this fear. A lot of them already have, so why can’t your man do it? What’s stopping him from taking that plunge?
For a woman to get her man to sit down and have a conversation about commitment with him can be a little challenging. Men have different reasons for running away from any conversation that has the word “forever” in it.
For you to even get him to talk about taking the relationship to the next level, you have to understand what’s causing the ISSUES he has. When you know why your man doesn’t want to get anywhere near that topic, it’s easier for you to ease him to it and finally get him to commit.
There are some simple rules a woman needs to know before she can get her man to commit to a relationship that hopefully lasts a lifetime.
By following these simple rules, you’ll be able to make your man realize that commitment really isn’t a bad thing and that taking the next step is the most obvious and most natural thing to do at this point in your relationship.
Below are some tips to help you get your man to open up to commitment.
1. Stop Pressuring Him
Some women think that if they apply enough pressure, their man will just cave in and give her what she wants.
If you’re in this situation, is this really what you want?
Do you really want him to commit to you because you forced him into it?
I will assume that some of you will say “YES, whatever it takes!” but most of you will think about it and realize that you want your man to commit to you because he wants to. When I say don’t apply too much pressure, I don’t mean don’t put any pressure at all.
Letting him get away with avoiding the C-word will only make him more comfortable in your current set up.
Just stop nagging him about it, so that when you sit down and finally have the talk, he will be more open to hearing what you have to say because it’s something he hasn’t heard before.
2. Know What To Avoid
Avoid giving him an ultimatum unless you’re ready to face the consequences. What would you do if your boyfriend called you on your bluff when you told him that you’re walking away if he doesn’t commit?
If you think that if he really loves you then that would never happen, think again. While women equate love with commitment, men on the other hand, treat them as two separate entities.
He can love you more than anyone he’s ever loved, but if he’s not ready to commit, he won’t. More often than not, the “it’s now or never” speech leads to a break up. [Read – Is He Ready To Commit – 7 Signs To Look For]
You can’t just shock him into being ready for something if he really isn’t. What you need to do is to make him ready to face his fears rather than trying to force it out of him.
Of course, if you’ve tried everything and you’re already hanging by a thread, then giving him an ultimatum may be necessary. That is, if you’re ready and willing to leave it all behind if he doesn’t respond the way you want him to.
3. Show Him What Life Is Like Without You
I’m not talking about breaking up with him and completely vanishing from his life. All I’m saying is to give him an opportunity to realize just how important you are to him and how not having you by his side will be one of the worst things that could ever happen to him.
If you spend too much time with him, he’ll most likely take you for granted. Why would he need to commit to you when you are always there showing how committed you are to him.
Go out and do things on your own or with your friends, or if you’re already living together, go home to see your family or go on a trip with your friends without him.
You need the alone time, and so does he. After a while, he will begin to miss you, and when you come back he may be more open to have “the talk” with you.
4. Don’t Give Him Everything All At Once
There’s an old saying that goes, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”
This doesn’t just apply to sex and intimacy; it applies to everything a man can usually only get in a committed relationship or in a marriage. If you haven’t had sex with him yet, hold off until you get that commitment from him.
When you finally feel secure in your relationship, you can slowly give him the things he wants to get in a relationship. If you’re already acting like his girlfriend even if you’re not, then there’s no reason to make the relationship official.
The same rules apply if you’re waiting for your long-time boyfriend to pop the big question. Show him that there are more perks to being married than just getting sex whenever he wants.
The trick is to always give him something to look forward to, something that he can only get if you already have that ring on your finger. [Must read – 35 Brilliant Ideas To Make Him Addicted To You Forever]
5. Have The Right Mindset
Most women wait for their men to be ready to commit, if you’re one of those women, I’d bet you’ve been waiting for quite some time now. The thing with men is that when they get comfortable with what’s going on in their lives, they don’t want to change it up.
One of the lines most men use to avoid being trapped in a committed relationship or taking the relationship they already have to the next level is, “We have a good thing going here, let’s not mess it up by complicating things.”
It makes sense if you think about it, but most of the time, it’s just an excuse to avoid having to take a step that will take all the comforts of the current relationship set up away.
If a woman allows her man to weasel his way out of even talking about commitment, then she doesn’t have the proper mindset. If you’re one of these women, then you should seriously think about what you want in your relationship.
You should keep in mind that your relationship isn’t just about what he wants, it’s about what you want, too.
When you have the right mindset, it’s easier to convince him to see things in your perspective and if he wants to make you happy, he would consider committing to you.
6. Make Him See That He Won’t Lose Too Much If He Commits
One of the reasons why men are scared of commitment is that they’re afraid that they would be giving up too much.
Help them see that things won’t change as drastically as they think it would if they finally decide to take the plunge whether it’s agreeing to be in a committed relationship or asking you to spend the rest of your life with them.
Let him know that you are willing to compromise and give him a certain amount of freedom. Commitment is about mutual love and respect, and when he sees that you are willing to respect his individuality, he won’t have much of a problem being tied down to you.
Being in a relationship is a wonderful thing because it is something that keeps on progressing.
If your man doesn’t want to progress along with the rest of the relationship, don’t fret. You still have a chance to help him see the light and make him want to be in a committed, loving relationship with you. [Read – 23 Fun and Cute Things To Do With Your Boyfriend]
All you need is to be patient. Don’t give up until you’ve tried everything, and if things still don’t change, it’s better to just move on and find someone who wants the same things you do out of a relationship.