Master how to be a good kisser and prove to your partner that you’re caring, attentive, sensitive, assertive, and passionate.
Good KissLearning how to be a good kisser is crucial for a successful love-life.
There is nothing more intoxicating and sensual than the perfect kiss, and for an act that can be accomplished simply by leaning forward, there are endless KISSING VARIATIONS and TECHNIQUES you and your partner can use to make the most of this intimate activity.
So, grab the tricks from this article and go ahead for the ‘GREAT KISS’ now! (if you haven’t still) 🙂
Two Sides To a Kiss – Physical and Emotional
To be a great kisser, the very first thing to remember is that a kiss is both a PHYSICAL ACTION WITH AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.
How to Be a Good Kisser Physically
A great kiss should involve your entire body. From hygiene to hands and body language – every part of you should be physically involved in your kiss.
1. Cleanliness – The easiest way to screw up a kiss is by having bad breath, something stuck in your teeth, or lips that are so chapped they draw blood from your partner.
Guidelines are pretty SIMPLE – think about what you want the person you’re going to be kissing to do ahead of time and do the same thing. Floss and brush, take a hit of mouthwash, and keep a liberal supply of lip-gloss handy.
2. Be Assertive – No one wants to kiss someone who’s unwilling, and many early-relationship problems could be solved by both people showing a little more explicitly that they’re ready for this first important step.
DON’T LEAD with your mouth, but use your body language to show your partner it’s definitely kissing time. Face them completely, use your hands gently to line them up, and then move in.
3. Kiss With Your Eyes – Most of us prefer kissing with our eyes closed, but don’t close them too early. When moving in for the kiss your eyes play a huge role.
As part of being assertive, you don’t want your eyes to show you’re NERVOUS or WORRIED. You want to show desire, passion, and intention. Careful not to give off too intense a vibe. You want passion, not aggression.
4. Kiss With Your Hands – Hands play a huge role in being a great kisser.
For a MAN, a strong caress, running your fingers through her hair, gently touching her earlobes, or running the backs of your fingers down her cheek and neck all work to show her you’re confident, sensual, and present.
For WOMEN, hands tells your guy one thing – you’re most definitely into it.
5. Kissing Pattern – If you’re repeating your kissing pattern in your head like it’s the tango, you’re coming off as too mechanical. It’s important to mix it up.
TONGUE to TONGUE is great, but so is flicking your tongue on their upper and lower lips, around the outside of their mouth, and of course down the chin to the neck and around to the ears.
6. Pay Attention – Your first kiss with someone should be good, but you should be paying attention to every second to see what your partner responds to the most.
Maybe her neck doesn’t trigger much response but her earlobes set her off like crazy. Maybe your guy doesn’t care if you run your fingers through his hair but shivers when you pull his shoulders into you.
Some of us like light teasing kisses and some of us like it firm and direct. Figure out what your partner likes and work around that.
7. Start Off Slow – A big part of kissing is teasing and suggestion. Don’t lean in with your tongue already spinning in circles. You want to start off slow with a simple kiss and slowly progress to opening mouths, tongues, and variations in speed and intensity.
Your kissing says a lot about your physicality in general, and someone who rushes in tongue first is only foreshadowing disappointing sexual experiences later on – if it even gets that far.
8. A Proper Finish – Unfortunately, your kiss has to end sometime 🙁
Up until this point, you’ve had a great entry, and you’ve both enjoyed the kiss immensely. It’s IMPORTANT to end it properly as well. Let the touching slow down, the tongues return to their rightful owners, and the speed in general let up naturally.
Mouths can slowly close up, and a few trailing pecks can help you both disengage. As your eyes open, don’t look away.
A STRONG GAZE into each other’s eyes will seal in the experience and allow you to show your partner that you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. A little smile never hurt anyone either.
How to Be a Good Kisser Emotionally
Now that we’ve covered what you should be doing with your body, let’s talk about what you should be doing emotionally while all of that is going on.
1. Be Present – Man or woman, it’s easy to get caught up in your own thoughts during a kiss.
Are you thinking about what the kiss is leading to?
GUYS, are you thinking about how much groping is too much? Is now a good time to try for a BOOB, or should you WAIT a bit?
GIRLS, are you thinking about how far you’re willing to let this go TONIGHT or that he’s more into you THAN you are in him?
TAKE AWAY all these thoughts from the kiss. To make sure your kiss is perfect, COMMIT to it. Your kiss is an event that has a start and an end.
From the moment you lean in, commit in your mind to finishing the kiss well. ENJOY it for what it is – a PERFECT, INTIMATE moment between you and your partner.
2. Timing Is Everything – Trying to force a perfect kiss while your partner is uncomfortable is going to leave you both feeling awkward.
You might be OK with a quick session while in line at the supermarket but your partner prefers to keep private activities private. In this case, know your partner and WAIT until the time is right.
3. Ready, Set, Go! – Of course a surprise kiss is sometimes fun, but we’re talking about how to share a PERFECT kiss. For this to happen, both partners have to be ready.
We talked about EYE CONTACT, and that’s a great way to let your partner know that it’s go-time. Ready comes before willing and able, so make sure they’ve got the ready part down before you move in.
4. The Motion of The Ocean – Kissing, like all other joint physical activities, has a RHYTHM. It’ll never be the same with different people, so it’s important to be paying attention.
If you’re HITTING TEETH against each other or choking on his tongue, you have a rhythm issue.
Be aware of your partner’s rhythm and focus on blending with it. If you want to get more intense, don’t force it. Start off slow and let it climb naturally.
How to Be a Good Kisser For Guys
Guys, you have a problem. You’ve been taught that women are delicate, that you shouldn’t be assertive, and that you should wait for the woman to tell you what she wants. Guess what? We (women) hate that.
Great KisserWomen want someone who is CONFIDENT, who is ASSERTIVE, who knows what he wants.
If you’re standing around wondering if she’d accept a kiss from you, you’ve probably already blown it.
We want to see someone who DESIRES us – someone who’s willing to take a chance and go for it.
This does NOT mean we want someone to force themselves on us. Read the steps above.
We want eye-contact, we want intention, and we want sensuality. Look us in the eye and let us know what you want with a gaze. [Read – 6 of The Most Important Body Language Tips To Attract Women]
Don’t worry – we’ll let you know if we’re NOT READY. Take charge and move in, but make sure you’re paying attention to any cues that says we’re not ready just yet.
Once the kiss starts, show us you know what you’re doing. If we’re enjoying ourselves, we’ll let you know. If we let out a sigh when you FLICK YOUR TOUNGE against our neck, you can be pretty sure that’s a spot you can come back to later.
Kissing someone who shows he knows what we like, is confident but gentle, and leaves us generally weak in the knees is someone who we’ll definitely be seeing more of.
How to Be a Good Kisser For Girls
Girls, men can be a bit clueless sometimes. You can decide on your own how much ‘help’ you want to give him to clue him in, but the one step you absolutely have to take is showing him positive feedback when you’re enjoying yourself.
If he TOUCHES your neck or licks your earlobe and you’re enjoying this, make sure he knows it.
A little sigh, a moan, or a quick tensing of your fingers on his shoulders let him know you’re ABSOLUTELY INTO what he’s doing.
There is NOTHING sexier to a man than knowing a woman is into him, and nothing will kill the mood faster than a man feeling like the woman is hesitant or unsure. Be clear, and know that your enjoyment is the best feedback you can give.
To drive the point home, a SLY SMILE when the kiss ends and showing that you’re a bit out of breath will leave him feeling like he really gave you something to remember. [Also read – 7 Ways To Attract a Guy That You Need To Start Following]
Now Get Kissing!
There’s only so much reading you can do on a subject before you venture out into the real world and put it into action. If you’ve found someone who’s willing, now’s the time to show them how you can be a great kisser.
REMEMBER – man or woman, be confident, speak with your eyes and your body language, and go for it!